Well, as frustrating as it is, if she is not interested in getting help, then I'm not sure how much telling her to read a book would help. Books for ADHD are kind of funny, cause a lot of people with ADHD have trouble reading or at least focusing on a book that isn't exciting... if someone gave me a book like that, I doubt I would read the whole thing, unless it somehow REALLY engaged me.

Also, you really haven't mentioned why you think she needs help. Maybe you don't like some of her traits, but you haven't said anything about her struggling or being in pain about any of this. If she is, then I would imagine it would be more helpful to talk to her about what might help, and see if she is interested in suggestions.

I'm not saying a book could never be helpful in her situation. Despite being a woman with ADHD, I can't give you any recommendations cause I've never read one

Edit: I reread about the outbursts of anger and frustration... keep in mind that ADHD is often accompanied by other mental health issues. And many disorders can have overlapping symptoms. As you said, it would be best if she saw a professional, if she actually sees this as a problem.