It sounds like a really challenging time in your life right now, JelloFluff.
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MzJelloFluff said:
so what does he mean by being there is he doesn't mean he is willing to offer supportive statements?
</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">Your T is the one you need to ask this question. We can speculate, but we don't know. It is clear you thought he meant something he didn't so your expectations were out of sync with reality. Please ask him what he meant so you can get clarity on this.
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is it wrong right now for me to ask him if he is going to be there for me? Is it wrong that i am afraid he might abandon me during this?
</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">Why all the focus on right and wrong? He did tell you he would be there for you, but you can certainly ask again! This isn't the Gong Show.
And there is no right or wrong about being afraid. Go ahead and share your fears with your T.
I think there are times in therapy when we need more support than others. For example, I think doing deep trauma work is difficult during a personal and current crisis. Jello, if you feel you need more support right now, can you ask your T for that? (Or maybe you have asked?) I think T's love it when we can clearly state our needs to them.
There was a time, with my previous therapist, when there was too much turmoil in my life for me to work with her. Going to see her made me focus on how stuck I was in my life and unable to make progress but yet I didn't have the strength to work on it in therapy. I needed a break! So I took a vacation from therapy for 3-4 months, gathered strength and the desire to make progress, and then returned to her. "Taking a break" can be part of therapy too, so if therapy is making things worse for you, and you have clearly stated your needs to your T and he can't provide them, maybe take a step back from therapy? And come back to it when you are stronger and can handle your T's pushes toward growth, change, or whatever he is doing that is not supportive to you in this crisis.