Quote:
Originally Posted by ElectricManatee
It kind of seems like you would rather talk to her on the phone than not have any contact at all this week, right? Your T seems pretty great. I personally have gotten a lot out of telling my T exactly how I feel when she cancels, even when her reason is totally legitimate (emergency dental work, etc). Sucking up my feelings and shutting down when I am upset is/was a big part of what kept me depressed for so long. It's way more satisfying to talk about it than to hope that she correctly interprets your angry silence.
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i knowwww, and she IS great. she has no idea that i secretly look forward to therapy. she only knows how nervous i get (which is also true). so to her somewhat blithely telling me in a "P.S" at the end of an e-mail that she can't make Monday's session isn't probably a big deal, as she has tended to be rather cavalier in telling me she is cancelling a session (usually at the very end the week before).
i spiraled entirely too far down last night. some of it was alcohol related, but I haven't had such intense SUI thoughts in awhile. i know this is way over-reaction. i also know that i have never had to "confront" her on my feelings towards anything she has said/did before. I am extremely avoidant and I easily shut down when hurt.