Quote:
Originally Posted by YoucancallmeFlower
You did not mention if you have seen someone or if you are currently in therapy. You
know the lingo and have done some research, obviously; but beware of buying into
whatever theory is currently popular. The truth is that DID is a singular phenomenon
and displays widely varient symptoms in each individual.
It is not my place to give you any opinion resembling a diagnosis. I have been DID for
45 years, but recently gained control and have lived as a single entity for 16 months.
There are a couple of things I can tell you. Only another multiple can begin to understand
this disorder. Most people can't even process it. Just because you don't remember any abuse
Doesn't mean there wasn't. Most of us are brilliant and gifted. I also write and I am an
artist. DID is a burden but it is also a gift. We are hard wired for survival in a way few
others are.
You are in a dangerous place right now and I urge you to seek professional help. There is great medication out there now and though you are exceptionally bright, you can't do this on your own. You may send me a private message if you feel I can be of help. 
 Flower |
Hi, I'm not currently in therapy, but have recently gone to the mental health service at the university I'm studying at, and have been referred for a general psychological assessment and counseling.
I am very hesitant about DID, these thoughts/characters have only happened twice recently, and I think maybe once today for a very short period... but before this, no whiff of any possible alternate personalities had come into my head. Also, I don't have any dissociative amnesia at all, my consciousness is whole and memories aren't compartmentalised. My short-term memory in general is bad, but I think it's down to ADHD and/or epilepsy.
You might be right about abuse. My childhood was quite troubled, but not abuse in any physical or sexual sense, and when a teenager I went through quite a traumatic experience. But it just doesn't seem like the kind horrific things that bring about DID or similar conditions.
It's interesting that you're also a creative type! Yes I need to be creative, I play piano often, write, philosophical thinking, etc. Didn't know it could be related to dissociative symptoms.
Thank you for the support.
This assessment is the next step forward and hopefully I'll get the correct dx and treatment. I have a couple of questions: what age did your DID emerge or become apparent to you? And how does it feel being a single entity now in comparison to before (congratulations on that by the way!)?
Quote:
Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2
Hello w.a.m....welcome to PC!
I would say that your description of your experiences sounds quite the same with me. Like having a comforter that calms you down saying soothing words...then she takes over and all the pain and bad memories disappear.
Trauma (not necessarily abuse) can happen as a baby such as a mother/child bond being broken or never made....no one could remember that.
This is something that should be checked out with a therapist...do you have a T?
Please stick around and ask questions if you like. You mention the word imagining...I guess we all go through that at first...the idea of not being alone in ones head is devastating with all the implications thereof and unbelievable at first. I too thought that at first...but we are a highly curious system...and got to know ourselves deeply.
I got to go to work now, so will check back in...hope to hear more. |
Hi, thanks for the warm welcome!
I'm still skeptical about DID, when the thoughts arose she didn't take over as such, there was no loss of consciousness/amnesia... my pain was just nullified. My consciousness is whole and always has been.
Part of me thinks I'm just imaginative and spontaneously thought up a calming voice as a defense mechanism. I can think up different voices right now and they're not alters or anything. The only difference is the slight perception of otherness, and it seemed to emerge suddenly from my unconscious. If it's not depersonalization per se, maybe it would be something like DDNOS? I just can't see it being DID.
There could have been trauma as I did have a troubled childhood when very young (< 3-4 years old), but like you suggest I can't really remember anything. But not to do with my mother, I'm very close to her and we went through my troubles together. Something entirely separate was a traumatic period of my life when a teenager.
I don't have a therapist right now but have been to the mental health service at my university and I'll be having a mental health assessment soon, as well as counseling.
I have a few questions if you don't mind:
- What age did you start experiencing DID symptoms, and what were they?
- Could you describe what it's like to 'hear' your alters/parts?
- Can one have DID without dissociative amnesia?
Thanks.