But you don’t have to. Come up with a alternative plan of your own if you don’t want to do DBT.

I guess what I’m saying is, your husband manipulated you for twenty years or more. Your therapist is nothing like your husband, but don’t let him manipulate you either.

It is not easy to do and I have probably taken my resolution not to be manipulated like that ever again a little too far in the other direction—like if somebody tells me it’s their birthday I will not wish them a happy birthday as they’re fishing for me to do.

But refusing to be manipulated is a lot better than the alternative.