Self harm TW

I want you to want me not to hurt myself, and not just in a generic impersonal professional way. I understand why you've kept the focus on me wanting it for myself, but I want to know that it matters to you. I want to know that I matter to you. And I want to know that hurting myself would bother you, because no matter how hard I try I can't make myself feel like it matters. I wish I could.