Quote:
Originally Posted by NP_Complete
A bit more context on the not normal comment. He was talking about how emotionally dysregulated I am and how often I feel suicidal. Not about me asking for a phone call. He very firmly asked me to ask him for a call this weekend if I needed one. Maybe he's right. Maybe my feelings are excessive for what actually happened. Needless to say, the phone call didn't really make me feel any better. When he told me that if I didn't go to this place, we would have to continue talking about it in our sessions, which makes me feel even less like I have a choice if I want to continue with him.
And yeah, I don't have a "plan for my own recovery" because my husband set my ****ing house on fire and before that he spent 27 years systematically destroying my self-esteem. My entire life was upended. How do you plan for your own recovery from that? I know people have had it worse, but this has been tough on me.
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There is no limit on how we're supposed to feel. Others may have it worse but at the end of the day- pain is pain. Sometimes the only thing we can do is just take it 10 minutes at a time. You do have choice and I can understand feeling cohered into saying yes to something you don't want to do. You're not a burden on your therapist- but telling you he feels worried about you suggests you need more support right now. Whilst you would still to continue seeing him, learning DBT skills could be helpful.When I first started therapy I didn't know what I was even feeling- just felt like I was being drowned by tsunami sized emotional waves. My therapist is purely psychodynamic, but I bought a DBT workbook too after it was recommend. I can still have extremely volatile days, but I learnt to self soothe and calm myself down a bit better.