I think it would be worth asking whether he specializes in trauma. My understanding is that digging into a client's trauma without proper and specific training is A Very Bad Idea, even for a kind, well-meaning, otherwise skilled therapist. If he doesn't specialize in trauma, I don't think you would necessarily have to stop seeing him because I know his support is really important to you, but maybe you could add some tailored trauma help from an additional therapist or resource. From my reading, it does seem like EMDR is exactly suited for helping with specific traumatic events like the fire.

It is tough to feel like your T is pressuring you to do something or judging you for not healing fast enough (whatever that even means!). But I do think that you don't deserve to feel so miserable and overwhelmed all the time, particularly when there might be something readily available to you that could ease your suffering. Unfortunately, finding that thing (whether it's EMDR, DBT, medication, meditation, yoga, support groups, or whatever) might take a bit of trial and error. Your T can probably connect you to those resources and support you while you try them out. You just seem so close to the end of your rope sometimes that I really hope you're willing to take some risks and try something different. It would be great for you to get back to where life feels worth living.