In 30 years, you've probably heard it all.

I've never found therapy useful (though I've engaged in it frequently over the years just to talk until I ran out of words or got bored of hearing myself), but I will say this much: If I used the words you've used above to describe myself, my psychiatrist would consider it an emergency, and so would I. I'm generally opposed to medications, but I would surely try antidepressants quickly to jump-start my motor and worry about fine-tuning (or tapering or enhancing) it later. If one class doesn't work, another one might (tricyclics, SSRIs, SNRIs).

I just don't think that "off the charts" is a good place to be. You'll get plenty of support on this site, so keep talkin'. We're listening.