I feel the same. I live for my dog. I'm sure your husband would suffer if you weren't here. I love to sleep. I sleep as long as i possibly can. I go early and stay late. Then i rest in the afternoon for a couple hours. It's not much of a life. I'm haunted by all my failures too. I think i'm over-medicated but when i think of how reckless and out-of-control i was off meds i am reluctant to see my doctor about reducing my meds. I'm so ashamed of myself, especially for being loose with guys. That's been over for years but i still hate myself for it. I'm so embarrassed. I feel it is better to be a recluse than to risk creating more experiences to be ashamed of.