Quote:
Originally Posted by Só leigheas
I feel like I'm rambling, probably because I am. My existence is ever wavering, like always. At this point I'm a broken record. "I don't want to live anymore." No ****, leigheas. Say something people don't already know. In fact, toughen up buttercup. Lift your head, puff your chest and move the **** on. Stop being such a *****. Grow up.
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You know it's always okay to vent here.
No idea if this helps you, but in my experience "toughening up" is a hugely counter-productive strategy for this stuff. That's for the usual tribulations, not severe distress. I find it doesn't give strength and calm, but belittles and berates yourself. But I know how tempting it is. I'm sorry everything is so awful. In my opinion it's more "grown up" to find a more gentle way while still pushing yourself forward. I'm still working on that myself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Só leigheas
Today, whenever anyone tries to talk to me, I just get irrationally pissed off. I don't know why other people acknowledging my presence has this effect on me right now. I'm keeping quiet, pretending nothing's wrong, but it gets even worse when they show affection. Try to give me a hug and I have to supress the urge to shout and even possibly get violent. It isn't all of the time, in fact most of the time I don't care, but I've been having bouts of irritability like this over the course of a month. I don't know why.
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Well, possibly completely unrelated, but ....
That can happen to me when I'm in a terrible hurting mood. It's like, "Don't interrupt me! Can't you see I'm busy ruminating on this horrific mood? I don't *want* to feel better right now! I need to ineffectually wallow in this! [Snarl, Snap]" Not very rational of course. But, you know -- emotions.
Withdrawing, isolating, snapping at people -- unfortunately all pretty common for depression and severe emotional distress. I know your situation is complicated and you're doing the medication and therapy. I wish I had something more useful to say.