I signed the form at the hospital so they could contact you and my pdoc, so you'll find out I got stitches again.
My one friend who I could talk to about this didn't really understand and was really freaked out and asked me to no longer discuss it with him because it was starting to become triggering for him.
I impulsively want to stop seeing you and continue to hurt myself like this and not tell anyone else and suture it up myself so I'm the only person in the world who knows and I don't even get attention for it from medical professionals to ensure that I'm not doing it for attention. I have the medical skills to do that now. There's no reason anyone else has to be involved.
I don't deserve attention. I deserve to be alone in this. I'm sorry having been manipulative for attention. I'm sorry.
Things were better before I started telling people. I only did what I deserved, and I got some consolation in knowing that I was punishing myself and not making it anyone else's problem. At least then I was being honorable in keeping it to myself.
I don't deserve your attention or compassion, and it's wrong of me to allow myself to use you for it week after week.