When I started therapy, I was married to a man and thought I was straight. We had a wonderful daughter, and she is the best thing that happened as a result of that marriage. But I now think it was doomed from the start. After my divorce, I waited a full year before I felt comfortable dating again and, when I did, it was with men. But something didn't feel right, and I thought I was bisexual, but in 1998, I came out to myself, and to some close friends, as a lesbian. Acknowledging the fact that I am a lesbian was exhilarating and freeing. Suddenly things I felt a long time ago finally made sense. The first person I told was my T, and she was fine with it. I told my then-15 year old daughter next, and she was fine with it, too. I encourage the OP to talk about it in their therapy. As far as the OP's spouse, I wouldn't say anything to him until you've thoroughly hashed the issues with it, with your T, and maybe, not even then. A question: how does your spouse feel about LGBTQ people?