So I am living with an abusive partner, who is prone to raging for very small things.

Just the other night we went out for drinks, and he complained that there was too much head on his beer. He's had this discussion before, and because it is a corporate chain they don't refill the beer. It has to have one inch of head. So he asked the waitress for less head. She stared blankly at him, and said okay. She returns with the beer having just as much and hands it to him. He becomes angry and sends it back and wouldn't order another drink.

Apparently according to him the waitress purposely lied to him and did it to "spite him. Okay, whatever. I wasn't going to make a huge deal over it.

Well when the bill came, it was 32 and change. I saw a base tip of $6.22 so I left $7. She made my drinks well, and if she had given him his beer i'd have tipped $10. Wasn't trying to cause him any distress or embarrass him. He saw the tip and went LIVID. Cursing at me, saying I tried to embarrass him. We were suppose to see a movie and we stopped at another restaurant for a drink. I told him all I did was round up the base tip on the receipt and he went on about how I was apparently lying about it, he saw me tip $7...etc. I tried to tell him I wasn't saying that but he just started screaming YOU FING TIPPED 7 NOW YOU SAY SIX YOU ARE A FING LIAR.

He said down and started talking about it and I said "I didn't do it to upset you". He started cursing, got up and said he was going home and I could just watch the movie myself. I got in the car with him and kept asking him to not leave. He grabbed me and screamed if I made him crash he was going to kill me. Apparently I had caused a scene, and I am making his life miserable and trying to make him look like an "abuser". He let me drive him back to the movie, but he was cursing at screaming at me to "shut the ** up" while we were driving there. He was REALLY scaring me. Apparently because I couldn't just admit that I did it to purposely embarrass him I am a liar and lying to myself and he couldn't trust me.

The entire rage episode lasted for about a day. I was grossing him out, he wanted me to move out etc. Yet, it is ALL my fault. I am really at my witt's end with these insane outbursts. I want to try to help him, but he doesn't see anything wrong with this behavior. He always tells me I play an equal part and cause them.

Narcissism? Paranoid Personality disorder? What? I mentioned going to anger management classes together and he said smugly that if I thought it would help my behavior(meaning me) he would go with me to them to help control my anger issues and that he has no problems.