What makes a raging jerk a jerk though? What is at the core of him behaving this way? I looked back on it, and I can see why me tipping that amount of money would be upsetting. I wasn't really thinking how upset he may have been, but it really was not at all intentional and not done to make him feel poorly or embarrassed. I was just not really thinking about it.

He thinks people are out to get him, and that everything done is a personal attack.

I've had incidents like this before, like we were at a comedy club and I had pushed his head back. I was tipsy, laughing, and just having a good time. Apparently I did it to embarrass him due to the fact that there was a small penis joke being told.

I told him that I did not "do it on purpose" and if he becomes upset over something there are appropriate ways to handle things. Screaming and cursing for HOURS is not.

I don't want to have to leave, but his behavior is extremely terrifying. He threw a bag of food at me once because I said he ordered 4 burgers but he thought he ordered 5. He was so obsessed over it that he was screaming for hours over it and threw the bag at my head while in the car. But it's okay, I was calling him a "liar" so it was okay.

I don't really know what to do anymore. I am torn between caring for this person and realizing that he has underlying issues that I am not qualified to fix. He will mutter an apology a few days after his raging, but then miraculously months later when he remembers the episode it is always about how "awful" I treated him. It's getting pretty irritating. I have never been in a relationship with anyone who behaved like this or believed I was this horrible to him.

I talked to the DV hotline about anger management classes and they advised me against it. They apparently try to make the person focus on what is causing the anger and work out better strategies to control it. For someone that is verbally abusive, it actually does more harm to the victim because it makes the person focus on the victim as the source of their anger. Solidifying a connection between the victim and the abuse that they are inflicting.