I think a lot has to do with where we are in the relationship when someone dies? If my husband were to die suddenly, I'd be devastated but not traumatized because we're "up to date" on our relationship; we don't have any issues pending or buried, etc.

I think when parents die, whether suddenly or over time, if we haven't had a good relationship with them "recently" have issues or secrets or things left unspoken, that can be a problem? I guess I equate it to having a good, thought out, worked on therapy termination versus a sudden quitting.