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Sunrise said:
I am sure your H does not want to discuss this. He will view such discussion as a way he is being criticized or blamed or told he is wrong. Whereas you see such discussion as trying to improve the relationship and draw closer to your H, it will just seem like criticism to him. Couples therapy might help.

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OMG! This is exactly how he responds. During one discussion a while back I said, "I need to DISCUSS issues with you." He replied, "Why, everything I say is wrong to you." I said "That's not true, I just need to state and discuss the pros and cons of an issue before making a judgment." "That way when a decision is made I feel comfortable that it is the best option." His response was, "Well I'm sorry I am just not smart enough for you." ?????

How do you discuss or debate or problem-solve with someone who immediately thinks all alternate perspectives are direct attacks against him personally. The desire to engage in truth seeking, to separate yourself from an issue, and to remain open minded are necessary dispositions for any type of problem-solving.

The really funny thing about this is my dissertation deals with designing an instructional intervention that attempts to improving critical thinking in undergraduates. Hmmm... I think I have a subject to pilot test it on :-) Just kidding.. My husband is an intelligent guy, he just can't handle being it when is opinion or actions are challenged.

I think couples counseling would be beneficial for both of us. We both obviously have a lot to learn regarding effective communication. Unfortunately he will not participate.