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Thank you for being so honest. A lot of this resonates with me. I however go for the male therapist and want them to play the parent role and care for me. I attach right away to them if they even show any caring. I do not keep myself sick but I crave the attention I would get more when I am in a crisis. I do not like being mentally sick and I have felt what it is like to be the best possible adult self going about life and getting things done and I also like that too. It just does not hang around long enough.
I tried not having a therapist for almost 3 years. It was rough but having a therapist is rough also because of the painful attachment. My T now really does not let me get a way with much and challenges my thoughts. Work is actually getting done in session and I feel he can get me to a better place and having my adult self out more often instead of my child part.
Anyway I am told I no longer meet the criteria for BPD but I sure do still feel like I am.
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When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
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