I tend to pick on imperfections on my skin. It helps me relax but at the same time allows my mind to wander, sometimes anxiously. I tend to pick on my skin before bed to relax after a long day. I also unconsciously pick on skin flakes and acne on my face when I'm thinking or just going about my day. The skin picking gets better sometimes... I'm not sure why, exactly. It getting better probably has to do with my general mental health being better. Consequently, it gets worse when my mental health gets worse or when I'm under stress.

I saw a therapist about depression a year ago and I brought this up as a concern as well. She ended up ruling out OCD because I said I didn't have negative emotions or anxiety when I didn't give in to my urge to pick on my skin. This is partially true... I don't particularly get more anxious. It's more of a feeling of dissatisfaction and the anxiety I already have won't go away. I probably need to find some other way to relax, but I can't... I've tried colouring, and it didn't work. I don't really know of any ways to relax that could work for me.

My therapist told me to just stop when I got the urge to do it, but it's hard. It's like I can't think of anything but picking on my skin when I find an imperfection to fix. And once I start and while there are still more imperfections to fix, I can't get my mind off of the imperfections and the skin-picking. My therapist told me to tell myself to stop when I start to skin-pick again. I have found that on a bad day, I can't think of a reason to stop. Some days I can stop though... It doesn't make any sense.

So is this OCD? Is it anxiety? Is it something else? I've been thinking I might be on the autism spectrum (I don't have a diagnosis), so maybe it's related to that... I just wish I could understand this and gain more control over it.