I guess I just think you seem so upset and hopeless about the situation with your T that it seems like you don't have much to lose by trying something way outside the box, like telling the whole story to somebody else and seeing if they can see something helpful that you can't. That's sort of the point of therapy in a nutshell, in my opinion. Plus a therapist would be bound to confidentiality, so you can get into all the gray area things that you can't talk about here.

I have found that therapy endings have been a useful way to learn how to say goodbye without giving up all the good feelings you have toward the other person. Very different from a lot of real-life goodbyes. So I think it's too bad that you feel like your only option is to resort to forcibly pulling the plug on the relationship with your T and trying to turn your love into hate. That seems so sad and painful.