It's one thing to know that I have this disorder that affects the way I lead my life but it's another thing to realize that somehow my parents are hurting even more than I am. They are helpless in this regard but they still try to help.Sometimes it makes it worse but they refuse to give up. My sister cannot understand how she can help. I don't even know if she wants to understand because she is married and is answerable to a lot of people about my well being, me being notoriously absent from all social gatherings, me not getting married (i'm 32), not progressing in my career etc. I get better and do very well for a few months of the year and it gives them a lot of hope that things are back to normal but I disappoint them again when I crash. So I feel tremendously guilty that I am this way and I cannot be like other kids that my parents thought I will be like. I asked my mom to reveal my condition to all my relatives and she was devastated even by the thought of it. She said she cannot handle it. Not sure what is in store for the future for me but it just brings me down so low when I think of what it will do to my parents. I've aged them many years for sure already.