Hello Ballistix: This appears to be your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit. (By the way, the Sexual and Gender Issues forum was an appropriate place for your post.)

Honestly... I don't know what's going on with you. Perhaps what you are struggling with would be classified as being some sort of fetish? I'm an old man now. But I've had a life-long struggle with gender identity dysphoria. So I was also always attracted "to girly and feminine things"... but for different reasons.

You asked if this is it for you or if you have a chance of being attracted sexually to either gender. Here again... I don't know the answer to that question. But what I can suggest to you, based on my own experience, is that anything related to sexuality or gender is really complicated & can be extremely confusing (and embarrassing as well.) So my personal opinion would be that, in order to get to the bottom of what you are experiencing, you're going to need to delve into it all with the help of a therapist who is experienced in working with individuals who have concerns related to sexuality.

Here are links to 2 articles, from PsychCentral's archives, that may be of some interest:

https://psychcentral.com/disorders/fetishism-symptoms/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-top...-masturbation/

I wish you well...