Well, I applied to a program that would start in the fall, but I feel so guilty quitting my job and worried how I'm going to be able to make that much money working half as many hours and not being available during the day. I'm guilty that I'm hurting people/making their job harder if I quit. I mean, in a way, it does make me a quitter and a flake, just like I've always been.

Also, I feel ashamed that I can't financially support my partner who is still struggling to find employment, despite a recent interview that went really well. Part of the reason I want to get a better paying job is to support him so we could finally move forward in our relationship. Too bad that wouldn't be for another 1 1/2 to 2 years.

Oh well, I guess I'm moving forward. I just wish the guilt and fear would go away. I really wish that becoming a student again didn't relegate me to being like a child again. I've finally had a chance to taste what it's like being an adult this year and I'm sad I have to lose it for this.