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tulips30 said:
I am left wondering what your t. said when you asked him if he knew how fragile you are and how bad you have been feeling? Also, when you told him directly that what you needed right now was support not growth, what was his response?

I am thinking of you and really hoping that he is "getting" what is happening to you.


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well,it's a little confusing to me too..he said he had an idea but obviously he can't know the full depth of it. When i said what i needed right now was just support he didn't really saymuch of anything, but he seemed agreeable to it... he just didn't say it dfirectly and soi still don't feel like i know.

i don't know if he is *getting* it... i just don't know. i told him i was finding myself connecting to the bad times from before...like the two places in the freeway that i drove every day... one a river/bridge and the other the massive support columns of an overpass... not everyday, but too many days i had to grip my steering wheel to make it past those.

i am not exactly suicidal.. but i am too closely reminded of that intense pain.i am afraid i'll be there again. It's already unraveling.

i don't know... he didn't say the things i feel i need to put it that way. Is that just how he is? Maybe his ideas about support are suggestions you know? rather than comfort and listening only... i don't know.i have worried about this for a long time and have wondered if i would have been better off with a psychoanalytic T.i adore him though, and probably never would leave him for another T... not unless i feel i have no choice.

it's weird because i feel like he really does care and that he feels for me... that when i am desperate i think he feels the instinct to comfort me... he has said as much. But he hesitates and sometimes decides to push instead. He said yesterday that his timing is not always perfect. i am not sure if that means he has decided his words on the phone were a bad idea at that time...it sounded that way.

i lieft him a voicemail at 230am again... i said i didn't want him to call me back unless i had this all wrong.. i said i needed just support and not to push right now.. and i said what i *think* he wants me to do less of, and he wants to support less is me questioning *this* relationship... trust and abandonment etc.... and what i *think* is ok to call about more is the issues surrounding H.. my fears about that.. my problems believing i didn't cause the abuse, feeling repsonsible,being unable to stand my ground...

i *think* that is what HE meant by "being there."

so if i am wrong i asked for a call back to explain or clarify. What i want from him right now is for him to give me a solid framework... i need to know which needs or feelings i can bring to him without pushing from him, and which ones i need to try to soothe myself

does this make sense?