I don’t understand why talking about him to another therapist is ratting him out. You don’t have to give a name or identifying details.

I’ve spoken with therapists about previous therapists and their mistakes and the damage they did me. It’s been helpful. I either didn’t give names or I used only a first name. I didn’t feel I was ratting anyone out, and none of the therapists I spoke to thought so either—apparently it’s pretty common.

Loyalty is great and a commendable characteristic. But sometimes people have to put themselves above their loyalties. I had to do that when I left my abusive ex.

I am glad you feel better now.