YEah, I think that's it. It doesn't seem real if anyone is nice to me, and in my mind the arguments that I don't deserve it just overshadow it completely. So I often go around thinking everyone is probably mad at me IRL.

For a long time, T would not be nice to me or give me praise because so many times I did something destructive with in e week or two when she did. She decided that I couldn't handle positive feedback. Once I realized that I missed it, and why I couldn't have it, we were able to work on that.