it makes total sense. I think that that is where i end up going when things try to come up for being processed. I had to use the mosquito analagy - really somehow my mind associates the abuse with 8-leggeds and now days I keep thinking i see them everywhere. THere are triggers in my office - i think i see one. My mind starts to bring something up to process, i feel them on me. as one might imagine - that is awful (oh, they are my BIGGEST phobia), so then i start cycling downwards and want to numb. So when I am not allowing myself to cut or eat chocolate, I end up cheeck chewing, or digging my nails into my arm. Or trying to find some "accidental" sharp thing to bump into.
I keep giving myself a mental shake everytime i get another image of an 8=legged... i am not liking this at all.
kiya