My Grandmother (my Mother's mother) had alzheimers for years & was a violent alzheimers patient. When she first started showing signs of something being wrong with her, she was beating my Grandfather up with her cane as she was sure he was a robber that was breaking into the home. No one knew what was going on for quite some time as he was afraid to say anything & she wouldn't let him get on the phone to talk.

Finally little bits of what was going on came out, but neither my Mother nor Grandfather knew what to do about the situation. I was the one that had to force the issue & get her put into a care facility. It seemed at that time that it was almost impossible to find someone willing to determine a diminished mental capacity to the point they needed to be put into a care facility. My Mom & Grandpa were afraid that she was going to be locked up in a mental institution & the key thrown away. I had to make sure that she would get good quality care, while making sure my Grandpa knew it was for her own good & for his safety also.

At that time, My Grandpa at the age of 80+ was able to live in an assisted living apartment & daily would drive there to see her....until his car was stolen out of the church parking lot one Sunday morning. He still tried his hardest to see her daily...either walking or someone driving him. Soon after that, his health got to the point where he needed to move into the same care facility as my Grandma. Again, he was able to be with her daily...sit there & hold her hand (when she would allow him), or feed her lunch or dinner......until he died at the age of 96.

Amazingly, when she was told that he had died, a tear came into her eye. Most of the time, she didn't know any of us & even my Grandpa, so to have a tear in her eye when she was told he had died was shocking. I guess that the underlying love & emotional tie of the 75+ years of marriage wasn't completely stripped away by the alzheimers.

It is amazing how people dance in the rain when they are filled with love.
Debbie