I'd love to know more about you, tumblr. How old are you now? What kind of town you live in? Keep sharing because so many of us have felt (and still feel) the way you did.

There have been many times, when I was younger and now, that I had felt suicidal. And yet, just like you, all the decisions I've made show me that I want to live, and I want to live knowing I can be okay with what comes - good or bad.

Keep talking and be open to what could help you, either on this forum or IRL to a therapist or in a support group.