I'm not going to say "this isn't bipolar, so why should I take risperdal when I need to?" I am taking it and putting up with not functioning when I take it so that maybe tomorrow I won't be going to jail because I threatened to blow up something.
I'm saying, "this isn't bipolar, maybe there's something else that can help."

I just broke down because confusion is overwhelming and I don't even know how or why I'm still alive. There's probably so much rotting food all over the place because I forgot and don't spend every waking minute inspecting every single square millimeter of my dwelling. I had something really important I was supposed to tell someone, could I find the phone? No. Do I remember what that was? No. Could my house blow up in the next day because it could have been "I went to the basement and there was a funny smell." Possibly. Could it have been "I found bloody puke and the dog might die or it could have been something harmless" maybe.
I cannot do the things I need to do. Does risperdal keep me from harming myself or others? Yes. Does it actually improve my ability to live? No.
I don't ****ing care about my stupid piece of **** diagnosis, I care that if I'm misdiagnosed with something completely different I want to receive appropriate treatment. Antidepressants are crap for bipolar, would you want to have a MDD dx and have it take forever for your doc to stop giving you meds that make you worse and avoid the ones that actually work? Do you want to have BPD dx instead and have people tell you that you need DBT and meds aren't going to be effective? Maybe your symptoms were thyroid related. Would you like to keep trying lamictal, lithium, zyprexa, depakote, haldol, clozapine, seroquel, etc when you actually need something totally different?

I don't know anyone who wouldn't chill out after taking a sedating antipsychotic, that doesn't mean they couldn't benefit in treating what they actually have.

Yes, I feel better on Risperdal, but I also feel better after I cut, do rec. drugs, scream at undeserving people, and have sex with strangers. Should I do those things too?
There is a huge difference between feeling well and functioning well. I would rather function well and have the opportunity to really work on feeling well than feel well from the getgo but not have a clue on how to dress myself. yes, I frequently forget that you need to put your underwear on before your pants, and that's something risperdal I think makes worse.