It's true that I'm more angry at people revealing many ugly truths to me than the fact I was wronged by them. If I was mostly angry at the fact I was being wronged, I wouldn't be acting like this. If that were the case, I'd be scarred but I wouldn't be constantly philosophizing about all the dark truths I've learned and screaming at the sky about how I wish the world were more to my liking and how I wish everything went my way. Isn't this the behavior of someone who can't admit defeat? I'm a fairly self-aware person, I know what I'm saying. Why would I be angry at their insults if there were no grains of truth in what they were saying? When this all happened, this happened at a time when I was at my most annoying. Other people who came before them traumatized me. To deal with the trauma, I taught myself how to not only turn myself into a totally different person, but also how to be in denial and how to convince myself that I was that totally different person. The way I see it, it's one thing to pretend to be someone else to others, and that happens all the time. What is totally different is pretending to be someone else to yourself. I mean, aren't people in denial annoying? Let me think of some archetypes of people totally in denial: the closet gay who constantly makes references about how much he likes guys, but thinks it's OK as long as he adds "no homo," or the ugly and old woman who thinks she's still hot and squeezes herself into clothes that either don't fit her size-wise or just aesthetic-wise. Wouldn't both of them make you want to shout at them about how annoying they are? The point here is, yes, people shouldn't have put me in a situation where I was not only said bad things to (that would actually have been deserved in moderation), but they were also putting me in a loop and acting as if I couldn't change, because that would indeed mean I couldn't change, especially not with them shouting at me, but it wouldn't have been good to enable me either, and maybe, just maybe, enabling someone so deeply in denial would not have been such a good idea, and it honestly shouldn't have been a surprise that people were being annoyed by me.