I grew up in a household with my mom and her alcoholic husband. My grandfather was also an alcoholic. I have a younger sister and brother. I struggled in middle school and high school. I was kicked out of high school for fighting. I went to Job Corp and got my GED. I had a job. I had a baby at 18 and another at 21. But started community college. Then I decided to move out of my birth state. I visited a family member in Nashville, TN. I fell in love with the city. I planned things out and nine months later I moved. I had saved all my income tax money. My boyfriend moved with me too and my two kids. I registered with temp companies and so did he. We both found jobs. A year later I started community college again. Then I transferred to a 4 year college and finished the rest of my classes. I worked full-time and went to school on-line full-time most of my college days. After I graduated I changed jobs for better salary. Things were going good I was even thinking about going back for my masters. In 2011 I had a hysterectomy and then the mood swings started. I kept going to the my doc and they did all kind of test. Then by 2012 I was put on Celexa and it put me in full mania. I was diagnosed with bipolar 1. I later found out a few other people in the family have a mental illness. No one talks about much. My mom does not like talking about mental illness. She thinks you just take some medication and it fixes everything. I talk about mental health with others that have one or mental health professionals. As far a siblings mine are not showing me up. My sister did just get married. Her husband does work but he’s a pot head. Her oldest daughter is having a baby and moving in with them. She has a soon to be 18 years old daughter with no job that already lives there. Her husband has a son that is about to be 18 years old and he lives there too. The house is only a three bedroom. I do not like being crowded. My brother has two kids that my mom has custody of. His girlfriend is pregnant and due in June. He does keep a job but he’s barely making a little over minimum wage. He was in auto school and dropped out. My sister has went to school for nail tech and medical coding. She does not work in either field. She works at a car rental company. Now on to my mom. She runs her own business. But wants to close down hers and be a manager for someone in the same business. My mom does not have her degree not even a bachelors. The position requires a degree. I suggested she go to college. She had excuses about not having enough time. Not having anyone to watch my brother’s kids that she’s raising. I do not feel sorry for her. I was going to school while working and raising two kids.

I do not owe anyone anything. Just because someone thinks you “should” have been a doctor or a lawyer does not mean you are obligated to make their dream come true. Plus you can not help it if your ill. I have a cousin with cancer and she is not able to work. I see no difference in me getting SSDI and her getting it too. But society wants people to feel bad for the medically sick not the mentally ill.