emptynightmare 
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I was very interested to hear the perspective that I would like to control the therapeutic process. I will never trust a therapist or p-doc 100%. I think it's dangerous to do that.
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To go to therapy means to cooperate with the therapist, not to submit to the therapist. To submit is something else. Cooperation means that you tell your therapist about your problems including the problem you have with trust. A good therapist will understand and respect that and give you slowly, slowly the time you need. The therapist is interested in your well being and will go in your tact.
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I would mention that your mind is not the same as a physical foot. People use the mental illness = physical illness analogy to legitimize mental illness but I would say there are nuances that people ignore. My mind is unique. You cannot follow directions to fix a mind the same way you would fix a foot.
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That was what I was trying to tell you. Nobody has said that one use the same methods to heal a leg as one uses to help people heal themselves when they are suffering from depression or other "emotional problems". What I was trying to tell you was that not one broken leg is similar. The doctor therefore needs to examine each leg to find out how to give the right treatment. Even in such a situation cooperation is important. If the doctor tells you not to step on your leg for eight weeks and you ignore that advice, you cannot blame the doctor if your leg has grown together in a wrong way.
It was not my intention to compare a leg and inner feelings. Inner feelings; sad, heartbeat, anxiety, suspiciousness and more are result of genetic heredity to some degree. But nobody inherit another's depression or other so called mental disorders. There has to be one or more triggers to activate a cluster of genes. If you have problems with trust, you have probably met some people who deceived you. The therapists job will then be to help you with that trust issue. May be he will advice you to move away form the community who instilled those feelings in you. If so cooperation does not mean that you do exactly what your therapist has suggested to you. Instead it means that you think it through. Will this be wise for you or are there other options? It is the dialogue between you and the therapist that will be part of the cooperation. (The example about moving, was just an example - it was meant to tell you the difference between cooperation and submitting).
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The idea that I have to rely on someone for them to be happy and cooperative in the relationship is not agreeable to me.
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The therapist does not need you to make him happy!
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I would hope to work with the therapist as an equal, and of course am open to discovering underlying causes to my problems (...)
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I can assure you that that is what we all want, to be treated with dignity. We are all humans and have the same dignity eiter we are a professor, a cleaner or whatever. But we are not equal in knowledge. If you call for a plummer, you will besurprised if a carpenter comes home to you to do the job. The therapist has through his education some skills and knowlede that we don't have. That's why we call for an expert. Please remember the differnce between submitment and cooperation.
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These ideas are all from my experiences in therapy, and perhaps from my experiences in my family of origin with a domineering father.
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Sorry that I did not undertand that you already had experience with one or more therapists (perhaps negative experiences).
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I think the control thing would be something to discuss with the therapist, perhaps I could find one that works well with my approach.
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Great idea! Discuss this topic with a therapist!
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The control thing--(edit) now that I reread my post, perhaps I do have a thing with, but I am not interested in changing that part of me currently as it's not relevant to my goals.
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If you don't want change for the time being, perhaps it will be best for you to wait until you feel for it ....
