Whenever anything around me changes, the routine, the environment or the people around me... whenever changes occur my mind immediately wages war on me. The slightlest change and I'm being told that nothing's real (by the voice in my head, which I know can't be real but they are real and I can't explain that). Like now, my friends got back together and are so happy, and I'm happy for them, but is it actually happening? The voice in my head tells me they're dead and have been for some time. And me, I made all this up to deal with it. And the only way I can return to reality is if

I don't why this happens. I do know I'm having a hard time believing one is real over the other. I hate this.