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Tell her and tell her that she needs to address her stuff. Codling her is only going to prolong the agonizing you are going though. Though that said BPD people will fight tooth and nail against real help and create drama so be ready for her big blow up.
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Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann
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