Dealing with so much anxiety and depression. Mother's day is in 2 days and I really really dont want to go with everything in me. When I went to Christmas with all those people around, I was friendly and socialized for 2 hours then went downstairs and couldnt bear to go upstairs for anything. But then I wasn't depressed. Now I'm depressed, social anxiety up. I bought my mom a nice mother's day gift. I put time and thought into it. But I can't be around all those people in this state. It sets me backward. And my brain keeps daydreaming all day to avoid the stress. It's like I'm living in a fantasy world. If I don't go, my mom will ask me if I hate her. She's done that to me in the past. I don't just want to take extra ativan because then I'm cut short at the end of the month. And this time I can't just put on a happy face with all those people around. I turned my phone off all last week just to avoid having to talk to anyone. I want to do it again but then I would be avoiding the problem even further. I'm in between therapists and dont see my pdoc for 2 months so there's nothing I can do on that end.