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No I don’t know when we first start to date what I am getting into!
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Maybe it would be better to get to know the person better before ever dating?.....if they don't want that, use it as an indication that they are HIDING something & don't date them no matter how much attraction there may be.
The only thing that we can change is us & if what we have been doing keeps ending up like this then we have to change what we are doing.