Being a good father includes setting a good role model as a good partner and husband.
Don't fall into that trap.

I grew up with parents who despised each other, and who fought savagely, but played at being good parents over compensated by trying too hard with us kids.

It was a horrific environment to live in.

And you have only been together 5 years...can you imagine another 5 or 10 years of this. Once your kids are old enough to hear and understand what's going on.

Aside from all that don't you deserve better, doesn't everyone.
You don't deserve to be sad and terrified.
He doesn't deserve to be to be treating another human being this way, or feeling so spiteful and bitter that all he can do is lash out.

You all deserve something better.