This is a "feeling" though golden_eye and it's based on what you have experienced in your past. Feelings are not "reality" either, they are just feelings and it's important to recognize your feelings but to also learn not to feed into them because this can cause anyone to begin to believe they genuinely have no control and are doomed and that can end up with a person experiencing a genuine chemical overload that can become extremely disabling. This is something you have already experienced in your history, however since that experience golden_eye you have been learning and gaining more knowledge. Knowledge is "empowering" golden_eye and you are not as naive as you were when you broke down.

Your new boyfriend's foot will heal, he isn't going to be incapacitated forever and he isn't being mean to you or abusive either like others have been with you. You need to see this about him and rebuild your faith and consider this experience as an experience that is not taking your chance at happiness away, but instead is showing you how this individual is not being mean towards you and instead is reacting in a much healthier way with you. You are so used to thinking about the glass being half empty because of how you were exposed to toxic individuals, this gives you a chance to embrace the glass as half full instead where you can see this new bf as being a much safer person to invest your time with. Experiencing psychosis is just that, something you experienced because you experienced something that completely overwhelmed you, but, that doesn't have to mean that you are doomed to experience that state of mind again, you have learned a lot since that experience and you have regained more "control" over yourself too. It can "feel" like evil voices are "there" because you did experience very toxic even evil situations in your past. However, allow yourself to sit and recognize the difference between what happened in your past and how this is really not happening right now. I know this can be a challenge when a person experiences PTSD, I have to work hard at this myself, part of getting stronger is trying and experiencing some "positive" things and the more you do that the more you will regain a sense of personal control back.

Understand golden_eye?