Psychosis from the schizoaffective which has been a relatively recent thing. I've had social anxiety my whole life, but thankfully the Zyprexa has helped both of these things.

I have PTSD from my manic episodes because of how embarrassing they were, which I think is amplified by the social anxiety because I'm afraid of embarrassing myself and I became the complete opposite of who I was (a quiet, introverted person). And body dysmorphia about my skin, which Lithium is making very difficult because of the acne it is causing. Don't really feel like leaving the house because I'm so self-conscious about it.

At the moment my mood is good but I'm having anhedonia and no motivation, so I don't know if it's a depressive episode or negative symptoms. Either way, it's really draining but otherwise I feel actually normal