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Originally Posted by Weareallmadhere93
I have Daddy Issues no lie, yet I keep getting into relationships I believe I could be happy in. Then the Curve ball Comes. I’m Married, willl you...... Some times it’s join us and some times be my secret. I don’t know if it’s because I’m over weight, ugly or what? I’m really disheartened because I’m starting to think that’s the only people interested in me. I always waited because I wanted one man to one woman and kids. Yet it keeps happening and I don’t think I could meet a single guy interested in just me anymore. It’s been 11 years since I’ve dated a man with no ties. (No I don’t know when we first start to date what I am getting into!)
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Hi MadHere...
When I hear people say "I have daddy issues," or "that person has daddy issues" or "I don't want to be involved with someone with daddy issues," all I hear is something hurtful. Whether you are saying it about yourself or someone else, it's really just a cruel way of saying "that person's (your own) father did not act like a real father to them when they were growing up, and now they are wired to be attracted to people who don't treat them well in their adult life." And really, I think as a whole, we need to be more kind and caring about the way we talk about people, things, and well,
ourselves. Anyway, I have empathy for you.
My father didn't act like a real father to me either, and he certainly wasn't there for me the way I needed him to be. Anyway, I also wonder if self esteem can play a part in why we pick the partners we do and even, gravitate towards those who are not good for us (even if you don't know it about them beforehand). Would you say you are good or bad at judging people's character? My guess might be that you need to pay more attention to your instincts about a person (and learn how to hone those instincts). Do you ever get red flags that come up about someone? What do you do when you find out someone is not who they say they are? Do you continue to be with them? Or do you empower yourself and dump them?
I really like what AspiringAuthor had to say about body image. It's so true that if you wear clothes that look and feel good, and take care of your self esteem, a man's (the right man) not gonna care if you are overweight. A lot of women are (overweight). And a lot of them have boyfriends.
Also I just want to acknowledge your disappointment about continuing to meet the wrong guys. It is a disappointing feeling and frustrating, and I hear you. For my own issues with this kind of thing (being attracted to assholes and bad boys), its taken some work to figure it all out. I took a step back from the dating world and really started to notice what was happening inside me when I was attracted to someone not treating me well. For you though, it sounds like you are attracted to liars and cheaters. Is there a pattern you have noticed with these guys and their early character? That's where your intuition will ring.