So I did one of those awful things yesterday...we had about 1-2 minutes of our session left, and I started crying by accident. I literally just had my voice break and I started crying and I immediately went “F***, I’m sorry” when it happened. T just helped me wrap up as much as possible in that time, she had somewhere she needed to be immediately after session (she was running a group). I felt so bad because I know that’s always bad for client and T alike.
And then also, so my T does this thing for me where I send her my journals and she reads them and comments on them, and usually she does so before our appointment so we both know what we’re going to talk about. Occasionally she doesn’t have time to do this extra thing for me, though. When she doesn’t, even though logically I know that she wants to and she still cares about me and she’s going out of her way/above and beyond to help me, it still makes me feel neglected and down. So this happened yesterday, and I just didn’t know how to talk about what I needed to talk about in that moment.
I left session feeling like I didn’t get the emotional release that I needed. And I never leave session that way, so it really bummed me out. Today has been better at least, still ruminating on yesterday, though...