pachyderm.. the whole point of this exercise is to try and help me stand my ground and learn to see that i afford others far more rights than i afford myself. Staying grounded in what was won't get me or anyone else out of the hole they find themselves in. i dont want to invalidate the past at all... but if i use your rationale.. i won't ever get to a better place. i can easily, and do think about the negative.. think about what has happened when i try to have those kind of rights.. think about what will happen now.. i do that already and i am supposed to be trying to find a way to give myself what i give others. i'm not invalidating tho ok? just pretend along with me.. dont apply these rights to yourself if you feel as you say you do... i'm supposed to pretend it's someone else.. try it with me... if you know, and you seem to, when things weren't the way they should have been. .. what right was being violated? State that.

Perna that is a good one too... i had to think on my feet sometimes... and at others i had to spend weeks building up to saying something because i needed to find the "right" way to express something which would cause the least impact.

VERY NICE Mckell.. serious.

these are good.. i am going to put them in a list to read.. T will be happy about that. He says after that i have to think about why it's a right for someone else and not for me. What are the thoughts and feelings? i cant do that part yet. He asked me one day what would have to be the thought(s) in order for me to say i had these sorts of rights... i couldn't say the words, they felt like it was wrong to say it. He tried to get me to push it but i simply could not make words come out of my face.