Quote:
Originally Posted by MRT6211
So today I had a big thing happen in my life (if you’ve read my previous posts about going back to school and being forced to do directly supervised urine drug screens, I’m happy to report that it looks like I am definitely going back to school in July, and they found an alternative to supervising me directly during the urine drug screens. Thank god.), and when they did, I reached out to T via email because I was very excited to tell her. She had been telling me for weeks/months now that it would all work out soon enough, etc., but I was staying in a very pessimistic place. So here was our exchange after I told her the news:
T: “I'm having this moment of… wait for it…. TOLD YOU SO!! Congrats! I'm happy too! This is great news! I'm proud of you!”
Me: “I literally KNEW you were going to say that...but thank you, for everything.  “
T: “Nothing to thank me for. You did it. Lesson of the day: faith.”
That little exchange warmed my heart and made me feel very connected to T again, which I think is a lot of what I wanted and needed from that session. I really like our relationship because T teases me (and I give it right back) and and we have fun a lot and I feel like she really understands me. I really feel like our relationship is special. I’m in a program, so she’s my T for sessions and also does groups, so I see how she interacts with her other clients. She definitely has different relationships with each one of us, and I think it’s really cool.
I have a group tomorrow, not with her, but most likely I’ll see her around tomorrow. I hope so, at least. I really want to share the excitement in person, too. |
Oy, vey. I think that it’s great that your therapist is happy for you, but comments like “I really think our relationship is special,” is a giant hole for many. You’re thinking that your therapist is your friend. She isn’t. She’s a paid professional. She probably just forgot her happiness for you, seconds after writing of it.
I feel like I need to take over the discussion concerning therapists. They do far, far, far greater good than harm; they’re professionals — they attend school to learn a profession which they later practice and probably have the same degree of happiness for you as for any patient/client.
You may have to pay — and need to know this upfront — your therapist’s full fee. Maybe you have an insurance co-pay or your insurance may gulp the whole box of wax. That you usually pay for a service or good with specific needs is testament to the way that we should react (or not) to the fact that (I hope) you are paying an educated professional for a service. The service is rendered in privacy, becoming a time to speak in private to this professional, speak of matters so diverse that they cannot be counted.
Shrinks wouldn’t make it through the day acknowledging each patient/client who have no appointment. They aren’t magicians or lovers. I think what they do best is to arrange a kind of problem puzzle in larger, more manageable pieces. To point out the obvious faulty thinking, “you tell me this, I think thus to be true, I should listen to you.” I couldn’t do it. 1) I dance with lucidity and oftentimes cannot do but shuffle and 2) I’m just not smart enough to do the work of, say, an MD/Shrink or PhD/psychologist. Clinicians.
I think that it’s time to say just what we mean by psychotherapy. I don’t think we’ll find a horde of romancer’s — I hope not.