I’m not over the exploitative psychiatrists. I am still furious with one and am ambivalent about the other. You’re right, the intensity of my feelings have lessened over time but intense feelings still pop up with certain reminders.

Then there is the ‘good’ subsequent therapist. I still dream about her. I miss her. We stay in contact but I miss seeing her.

For a time, I mourned CurrentT was not more like the good subsuqent T. But over these last four years I see Current T as herself....her own person with her own strengths that are meaningful, generous and useful for me. When I part with Current T, I won’t be grieving the loss of Current T with the facade of the good subsequent T, I will be missing Current T, genuinely.

This may be oversimplified but I read somewhere:
‘Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.’ - Jamie Anderson