Me to him:
Quote:
Hi T
I can't tell you everything I'm feeling without this becoming an essay. But the heart of it is that I'm scared that my pain around my feelings towards you is unbearable to you. Because it feels necessary to me. I think it needs to play out. And I need to be open with you about how much it hurts. It feels like I'm making you doubt what we are doing.
I am scared you feel stuck. I don't feel stuck. I feel like we are doing what we're supposed to be doing. But the idea that you feel we are not making progress scares me, I don't want you to think you're not helping me, or that I am unhelpable.
Please reply
Echos
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Him to me:
Quote:
Hi Echos,
It is good to read that you feel what is happening in your feelings towards me feels necessary to you.
Reading your email reminded me of the analogy of being roped together climbing a mountain. I am very comfortable with you taking the lead for this section - trust you to find a good path.
My feelings in this respect are not too hard for me to manage.
Take care of yourself,
T
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I like that he used an old analogy we have talked about before. That helped. But the last line made me feel a little like I am overestimating the amount he actually gives a s***. Like I am imagining I am too much for him but the truth is he doesn't really care. But I don't want to be too much for him either. So I don't know what I want. Sigh.