I was thinking about this just last night. I always see myself as a child in relation to my T. And I don't have maternal transference. I don't see her as a mother-figure. I wonder if it's because I feel inferior to her. I tell her all my vulnerable parts, and she doesn't share anything. So she "seems" almost perfect, and I imagine in her eyes I seem like crap. (I know in reality that she doesn't think I'm crap). Or maybe it's the BPD? Since your emotional maturity is behind, maybe it makes you feel behind in age too? I have never felt my actual age. I know partially it's because I locked myself away for 8 years and lived in a fake world. But I just feel like I'm a "new" adult, not 35 years old.