I'm very sorry you've had such a hard life. Sorry for all of it! It's not fair and it's not right. I relate to you. I did have tremendous support from my mom but she died when I was 34. My dad died when I was 4. Never knew him really. My mom then went on, after my dad died, to attempt suicide like 7 times.

My life has been hard too. You can pm me anytime you want to vent.

Are you in services? See a therapist or pdoc? I have much compassion for you.