Quote:
Originally Posted by feralkittymom
I think it's a bit of classic projection to refashion this into thinking the T has some issue with clients' attachments. The very act of asking for a TO would reflect that it's the client who struggles with attachment. And then to further obsess about the 10%, rather than recognize the 90%, well? Why not accept that, rather than speculate that he has some sort of discomfort or lack of awareness? And to then reverse speculate about what that says about his view of you? LT, you do seem to drive yourself down the rabbit hole. Hashing that all out in the moment with him could be valuable, but gnashing on it outside of the moment--is that helpful to you? Reading it just feels to me like a runaway train of escalating thoughts that wouldn't be productive.
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Because no one wants to eat a spoonful of chocolate that's 10% s***.
It's not speculation that he had some sort of discomfort if he literally expressed some sort of discomfort. And it sounds like they did hash it out in the moment...LT said that it led to good discussion That doesn't mean all the thoughts surrounding it just disappear though.
In any case, LT, my thought was actually just that I'd need him to define "weird." My gut (well, and based on what you've shared of him in the past) tells me it's more like he feels slightly nervous about your attachment to him: fear that he'll let you down; fear that you'll see him as something he can't be, and that his inability to be all things will cause the therapy to fail; maybe just fear because he's just not DONE this before, and a little fear is kind of normal - and good, because it means he understands that there are very real impacts to you.
And, to answer your question - well, my T seems really really comfortable with all of the "weird" things I do to use our attachment to help soothe myself. Heck, my TO is a little lizard that I actually purchased and made into my own TO (not taken from him, but it's with me at every single appointment, he will hold it sometimes, I've left it there, etc.) -- and now my daughter is in love with this lizard -- it's become BOTH of our comfort objects!