I was dx bipolar last fall and still don't really understand the nitty-gritty of the illness.

I was having intense mixed episodes, short hypomanias (very mild but wonderful), and depression. I'm on medication that is helping (not 100%, but good enough for now). The diagnosis makes sense and I understand how moods shift and all that.

What I don't understand is what else is going on with me in terms of mental illness. Any sort stress turns me into somebody I am not. I'll have these episodes of anxiety (or panic? hypomania? something else?) that last for maybe 1-2 hours when stress hits a peak and my kids are extra needy. This never really happened before my mental health took a downturn a couple years ago.

For instance, I needed to care for a family member for 3 days this week after a surgery, and by the end of that time (this morning), I could hardly even force a smile. Now tonight I am about to burst with rage, literally banged my head against my mattress because my kids were talking to me (good choice of objects to bang!), and binge-ate a bunch of sugar. I feel out of control. My kids voices sound like sandpaper in my ear canal. I want to scream. My jaw is clenched.

What are these short 1-2-hr bursts of rage I get? I believe they are connected to bipolar. Why do they come out of nowhere and are they related to the illness?